he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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