My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're too hungover to prance.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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