Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
