i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
