he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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