So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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