How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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