i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
