I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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