so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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