well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize