i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
