you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
