just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
