I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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