haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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