My cat gives me a boner
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
