If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
