I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
how does that bad decision feel?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
