Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
