I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
