Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
