Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
