The maid of honor just puked.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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