there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i think my cat just said my name.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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