some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
