Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
