yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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