Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
