Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
