if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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