you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
