it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
3pm strippers are depressing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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