Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i barfeds in our rink
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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