They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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