I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I lost the right to judge tonight
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
