The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he fucked my hip out of place.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
