Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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