...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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