whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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