i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I intend to get homeless drunk
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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