No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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