He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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