I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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