I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
