you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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