i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
