My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize