my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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