my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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