I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
