I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
