But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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