sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize