i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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