Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
